"And they came, bringing to Him a paralytic carried by four men.
And when they could not get near Him because of the crowd,
they removed the roof above Him, and when they had made an opening,
they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.
And when Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic,
'Child, your sins are forgiven.'"
— Mark 2:3–5 (ESV)
(A photo of a paralytic being lowered from the roof...)
Jesus came to this earth as a friend of tax collectors and sinners.
But what people truly needed most may have been freedom from suffering—
suffering from illness, demonic oppression, and pain beyond one’s will.
If someone could solve that kind of agony, wouldn’t anyone follow him?
Humans naturally follow those who benefit them.
If that benefit is connected to life and survival,
people are quick to follow—sometimes blindly.
But such devotion does not necessarily come from the nature of God.
Because even Satan can offer benefit to human beings.
Satan can bring disease, and also heal it,
deceiving people into following him.
He takes away wealth, and then pours it out again
as if it were a blessing from God.
How is that possible?
Because in Genesis, the authority God gave to Adam
was usurped by Satan.
If a person lives not as an enemy of Satan—in other words,
if they live under sin—they are, in fact, slaves of Satan.
This is a difficult truth,
but the Bible clearly states it:
"Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves,
you are slaves of the one whom you obey,
either of sin, which leads to death,
or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?
But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin
have become obedient from the heart
to the standard of teaching to which you were committed,
and, having been set free from sin,
have become slaves of righteousness."
— Romans 6:16–18
We were once slaves of sin.
But when we obeyed the Word of our Lord Jesus Christ from the heart,
we were set free from sin and became His servants.
If whoever we obey becomes our master,
then there must be a law or commandment that leads us into obedience.
In life, we constantly face trials and moments requiring decision.
Each time, if we inquire of the Lord and live by the guidance of the Holy Spirit,
then we are servants of the Lord.
Even if we fall short, as long as we make decisions in accordance with His Word
and are not living under sin,
we remain His servants.
But our hearts—perhaps always—struggle.
"The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak..." (Matthew 26:41)
I often stumble at this very verse.
Such a person is what we call a “spiritual paralytic.”
The apostle Paul expressed it clearly:
"For I do not understand my own actions.
For I do not do what I want,
but I do the very thing I hate.
Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.
So now it is no longer I who do it,
but sin that dwells within me."
— Romans 7:15–17
This means those who are enslaved by sin perform sinful acts
against their own will.
The heart and body move separately.
Even if one’s heart disagrees,
if they cannot overcome sin,
they end up doing what sin—their master—desires.
We know that the Law (Torah: תּוֹרָה, Torah) is not evil.
But it is not by keeping the Law that we are saved.
The purpose of the Law is to reveal our sin.
Paul says:
"So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good.
Did that which is good, then, bring death to me?
By no means!
It was sin, producing death in me through what is good,
in order that sin might be shown to be sin,
and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure."
— Romans 7:12–13
The Law is what tells us we are sinners.
Thus we understand that we are subject to judgment and death
as a result of sin—not just big sins, but all sin—
because all sin is exceedingly sinful.
Why then is the Law that brings death called good?
Because only when we recognize we are doomed by sin,
do we turn to the law of Jesus Christ that brings life.
Then how can we know whether we are no longer under the law of sin,
but under the law of Christ?
"For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do.
By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,
He condemned sin in the flesh,
in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us,
who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit."
— Romans 8:3–4
If we do not walk according to the flesh,
but follow the Spirit,
then the law of Christ applies to us.
How do we follow the Spirit?
By living according to the Word:
"It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all.
The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life."
— John 6:63
I was caught off guard by the unexpected question,
but within the presence of the Lord, trust always comes first.
"Do you love Me?"
"Yes, Lord, You know that I love You."
Immediately, I recalled the moment when Jesus asked Peter the same question three times.
It’s a passage I had meditated on often,
and from which I had received various forms of insight and instruction.
But now, the Lord was leading me to meditate on John 21:23:
"Because of this, the rumor spread among the brothers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; He only said, ‘If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you?’” (KRV)
“So the saying spread abroad among the brothers that this disciple was not to die. Yet Jesus did not say to him that he was not to die, but, ‘If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?’” (KJV)
“Because of what Jesus said, a rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; He only said, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?’” (KLB)
This verse revealed to me the ultimate expression of love—the kind that exposes Peter’s hidden motives and thoughts, not to shame him, but to heal and restore.
Up until now, I had focused primarily on Peter’s triple denial and Jesus’ triple questioning, interpreting it as a confrontation of his conscience and a call to repentance.
But there was also hidden manna buried deeper in these words.
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.
The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep.
So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away…” (John 10:11–12)
Jesus said that the true shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
Peter’s calling was exactly that: the calling of a shepherd.
And yet Peter, at that moment, denied his calling.
That’s because the love Jesus asked for and the love Peter offered were not the same.
(I will explain more below as the meditation continues.)
“A new command I give you: Love (ἀγαπάω) one another. As I have loved (ἀγαπάω) you, so you must love (ἀγαπάω) one another.” (John 13:34)
The love Jesus speaks of is always ἀγαπάω—sacrificial love.
When Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love Me?”, He used the word ἀγαπάω twice.
Peter responded each time with φιλέω, a love of friendship, brotherhood, and affection—not sacrificial love.
But the third time, Jesus also used φιλέω.
That’s when Peter was grieved.
Why?
Because Peter realized that Jesus adjusted His question to meet Peter where he was.
Not to accuse, but to call him gently and truthfully.
“I am the good shepherd…
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
You are My friends if you do what I command…
I no longer call you servants… Instead, I have called you friends.” (John 10:11, John 15:13–15)
Jesus made known everything He heard from the Father.
To be a friend of Jesus is to know the Father's will.
And yet, when Jesus asked Peter about ἀγαπάω, Peter’s reply, “Lord,
You know I φιλέω You,” showed that he could not yet lay down his life.
That’s why Jesus led me to meditate on John 21:23:
“If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you?”
The “disciple who would not die” refers to John.
Peter asked about him right after Jesus gave Peter his own mission.
Why did Peter ask that?
Because Jesus had just told him what kind of death he would suffer, and by it, how he would glorify God.
Although Jesus called Peter His friend, since Peter couldn’t yet love Him with ἀγαπάω,
Jesus treated him in that moment as a servant—a steward, entrusted with the sheep.
Jesus is always faithful to fulfill His purpose.
Even if Peter’s answer fell short, Jesus still gave him the mission—knowing that one day,
he would come to love with ἀγαπάω.
“Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God.
Then He said to him, ‘Follow Me!’” (John 21:19)
And what did Peter do next?
He looked at John and compared himself.
Jealousy and insecurity arose.
Peter thought, “Jesus says I will die—but John gets to live?”
In that moment, Peter neither loved Jesus with ἀγαπάω,
nor did he love his brother with ἀγαπάω,
thus breaking the new commandment Jesus had given.
“Even if I have to die with You, I will never disown You.”
And all the disciples said the same. (Matt 26:35)
They all confessed sacrificial love (ἀγαπάω)—
but within hours, all abandoned Him.
“Then everyone deserted Him and fled.” (Mark 14:50)
So Jesus gently corrects Peter:
“If I want him to remain until I return, what is that to you?”
Everything is according to My will, Jesus says.
Everyone has their own calling.
Lately, due to certain things happening in my family,
I had been grumbling and frustrated, thinking it was blocking God’s work.
I began to compare, criticize, and feel self-righteous—
as if I was the one who loved Jesus the most.
But in truth, I was the one paralyzed—
my heart and actions not aligned.
I was the spiritual paralytic.
If I truly loved the Lord, I would love my brothers.
But how could I claim to love the invisible God
while failing to love the visible people around me?
Lord, I am that paralytic. 😢
And yet the Lord says to me:
"Child, your sins are forgiven."
"In a large house there are not only vessels of gold and silver,
but also of wood and clay; some are for honorable use, some for dishonorable.
If anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable,
he will be a vessel for honorable use,
set apart as holy, useful to the Master,
prepared for every good work.
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace,
along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."
(2 Timothy 2:20–22)
